more flaws

In the past week, I have admitted to forgetting to bathe my son for a few nights because he was already in his pajamas, and having my child clean my house while I yelled at her.  Lets take this a step further with my parenting flaws.  Obviously there is more than 1 flaw, but I think my biggest parenting flaw is night time.  I openly admit that I hate being woken up.  I could handle the first year when I was breast feeding because, thankfully, God blessed us with kids that went right back to sleep after nursing.  I don't know if I ever woke up all the way.

Now, however, it actually feels like physical pain when I get pulled awake from my cozy bed.  K. is in the midst of potty training so he has been waking up to pee.  I wish it was to actually pee and not after he pees because really, what is the point of that?  I think I hit an all time low last night because K peed through his diaper.  So, I did what every good mom would do and changed his diaper.  Only, as I was changing it, I felt that his sheets were wet.  Seriously?  I did not do the good mom thing, I moved him over to the not wet side of the bed and went back to sleep.  It's awful, I know.  I feel awful, and his room smells awful.  But, I was tired and he still lived.

This next admittance actually happened back in October.  A. was having bad dreams for a few weeks.   We were at my friend Pam's house in NC.  A. came in and said, "I had a bad dream."  She apparently told me what it was but I think I feel back asleep in the middle of the conversation.  I woke up again as she was tapping me.  "It's ok, you are safe.  Go back to bed."  She did, but wasn't happy about it.  She came back 3 minutes later. This time, I got up and walked her back to bed.  She came back a few minutes later.  At that point, I got stern with her.  "You are fine, Mommy and Daddy are sleeping."  She didn't come back again.

The next morning, B got up with the kids.  He said he was downstairs and A. asked to go look at the front door.  Apparently, her dream was that Satan was scratching at the door and trying to get in the house.  She checked each door and then took some serious snuggling to feel safe.  She then told B. that the only reason she could go back to sleep was because she pulled K. close to her and they slept together on the air mattress.  All. Time.Low.

I will say that thankfully, she hasn't had a bad dream in awhile.  We have solved them for the most part by praying about it before bed and making sure that she knows she is safe every night. But, I sure do hop out of bed for those now.  I think she could hold that over my head for life if she wanted.