Monday, December 24, 2012

The Christmas Story

What comes to mind when you hear "The Christmas Story"?  Do you think of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus?  Maybe some shepherds or the wisemen.  Well, tonight, we had the privilege of seeing the Christmas Story starring, Mary, Joseph, Jesus, and... the cow.  More specifically, A the cow.  That's right, every other little girl wanted to be an angel but A wanted to be a farm animal.  The reason-the cow got a whole costume and an angel only got part of one.  Makes sense...
This picture was taken during the actual pageant.  Cesar Augustus came up to read the first verse and give the decree that Mary and Joseph should travel to Nazareth.  As he was reading, this little cow came running up the aisle.  Mary and Joseph were unaware that there would be a cow waiting directly adjacent to the manger.  She held her ground with her arms resting on the manger while Mary placed the baby to rest.  She kept her eyes on him throughout the whole show.  Well, except when she temporarily excused herself from the performance to tell B. that he already took enough pictures. Since we were already laughing hysterically that she came up the aisle early, we almost fell out of the pew that she left her perch only to scold her father.
The manger scene, Mary, Jesus, and the Cow.  I think Mary was trying to convince her to step back out of the limelight.  That didn't happen.
Then, the Angels came up to surround the manger.  I think the cow was supposed to step back.  She did not.  In fact, I think she may have thrown a few elbows to maintain her important position.  


Next up, the shepherds.  The angels moved back to make room.  The cow stayed put.  Note:  she did remove her mask because it was, "too hard to see the baby."  We only know this because she mouthed it to B. from the stage.     

Finally, they invited all other children up to sing Happy Birthday to Jesus.  She did leave her perch  for this.  

 She came to the front to sit with her brother.  she sat with him through the whole song.  She reached down and kissed his little head several times.   
 She hugged him, loved on him, and prayed with him. I have never been more proud.  

Merry Christmas from S, B, K, and the cow....

Sunday, December 23, 2012

calm before the storm

Christmas is busy.  I make a conscious effort to be calm and focus on what my pastor called the humble happenings of Christ coming when no one else was around.  It was no big deal, just Mary, Joseph, and some animals.  But, it doesn't work.  We end up running around shopping and baking and visiting.  I feel like we are getting ready for something every single night.  Don't get me wrong, it makes me happy, but it also makes me stressed.

This year is especially CRAZY.  Our moving date is Dec 29.  We first started this process last February so it is a LONG time coming.  But, I think I would have rather had any other week in the year but this one.  We are dividing and conquering.  B. is wrapping while I pack the kids rooms.  B. is taking down curtains while I am coloring Christmas pictures with the kids.

But, on Wednesday, glorious Wednesday, we didn't leave the house.  The kids woke up at 7:00 (super late for them) and then we came down for breakfast.  We didn't get out of our pajamas until 11:00.  K. wanted his binky and lovie so I put him in bed around 11:10 and he hung out in there reading books for over an hour while A. and I made and decorated salt dough ornaments all while listening to Christmas music.  All 3 of us took naps... from 1-4.  No one cried, no one rushed, and all was well.

Today, we start the final rush.  Nan and Pap came today and under our tree is FULL.  Tomorrow I work while the rest of the family will cook and will make Christmas crafts.  Tuesday we will do nothing but play and celebrate and love each other.  Then Wednesday... Wednesday starts the chaos.  We will pack the remainder of our house.  Thursday, B. and I have the final walk through and then we both have to work for awhile before making sure all of our 6 years of clutter is packed away.  Friday we have a wonderful team of people coming to paint and put up lights and blinds.  Then, Saturday the movers come and we head over the bridge.  I'm sad and happy all at the same time.  I'm excited and nervous.  I'm thankful, gracious, and overwhelmed.  Mostly, I"m trying to balance the chaos that is moving with the humble happenings in which I want my family to focus.

Merry Christmas from our REALLY bright tree.  I promise the star doesn't really look like we captured the northern lights and put them in our living room.  My camera is weird.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

the response

After I wrote my blog yesterday, I got several responses from text messages, email, direct message on facebook. Oddly, this is a topic that people don't comment on publicly.  Maybe for fear of rebuttle or criticism.  Some were links to people smarter than me, to theologians and Christian pastors.  They made sense to me so I feel the need to share them.

Posted on The Learning Curve by Danny
"Even on this day, the professionals have taken to the radio, TV, and internet, discussing how we can explain these situations to our kids and how we process them with each other. I have a friend that I’m currently walking through the gospel with, and I’ll guarantee you that the next time we’ll talk, he’ll bring up today’s shooting. Theologians call it the problem of evil: how do you reconcile the horrific crimes and pains of the world with an all loving God? How can my friend trust a God who allows children to die? How can someone be so deranged, so evil, that they would walk into an elementary school and start shooting?
The only answer is sin. The only remedy is the cross. The only hope is Jesus.
As the people of God processes this day, let us not fall into the trap of naming issues that are not issues. Let us not discuss gun control or early warning signs or tighter security in schools. While all of those discussions have a place, we must take the time to call evil evil. We must point people to Jesus. And we must give people space to ask hard questions and be satisfied that we will not know all the answers.

 My main question has always been that of "God's Plan"  Doesn't he already know what is going to happen? If so, why doesn't he stop these things?  Well, I think that God does have a plan.  I have a plan too and it changes everyday when my children take a longer nap or throw a fit so that I can't get somewhere on time.  sometimes it changes because one of my patient's cancels an appointment.  What I'm getting at is that my plans are often influenced by someone else, a person with a different plan that forces me to change.  God gives us free will, he loves us and he wants us to follow him and to ask him before we act, but he gives us free will. This is where sin comes into play.  This makes God's plan have to change and the only hope is that he can turn evil into good.  Take this awful sin and use it to bring people closer to him.

Another response that I was given.  This is from Kellerquotes.com
One of the great themes of the Hebrew Scriptures is that God identifies with the suffering. There are all these great texts that say things like this: If you oppress the poor, you oppress to me. I am a husband to the widow. I am father to the fatherless. I think the texts are saying God binds up his heart so closely with suffering people that he interprets any move against them as a move against him. This is powerful stuff! But Christianity says he goes even beyond that. Christians believe that in Jesus, God’s son, divinity became vulnerable to and involved in – suffering and death! He didn’t come as a general or emperor. He came as a carpenter. He was born in a manger, no room in the inn.But it is on the Cross that we see the ultimate wonder. On the cross we sufferers finally see, to our shock that God now knows too what it is to lose a loved one in an unjust attack. And so you see what this means? John Stott puts it this way. John Stott wrote: “I could never myself believe in God if it were not for the Cross. In the real world of pain, how could one worship a God who was immune to it?” Do you see what this means? Yes, we don’t know the reason God allows evil and suffering to continue, but we know what the reason isn’t, what it can’t be. It can’t be that he doesn’t love us! It can’t be that he doesn’t care. God so loved us and hates suffering that he was willing to come down and get involved in it. And therefore the Cross is an incredibly empowering hint. Ok, it’s only a hint, but if you grasp it, it can transform you. It can give you strength.

So, though God is greater than us.  Though he is able to do things that I will never understand, he has put himself into our shoes before.  If anyone understands the loss of a child in a horrible manner, it is him.  He has been there and it happened for us.  So, let's not put blame on him, let's use him to give us strength.

Another thing was a video of some big christian minister that I don't even want to name.  It was talking about how we have kicked God out of our schools and then we wonder why he is punishing us within the school system.  I think his speaking is one of the many reasons why people don't have faith.  I have a good friend that is not a believer. Many of the things he says make sense to me but the most important is,  "How do I know what is true when even Christians can't agree?"  My answer there is that I don't think this christian was praying for wisdom before he spoke.  I mean really, God was punishing innocent kids so that we would pray in our schools.  Because that makes sense.  Lets just think humanly for a minute... If I want my child to come to me for help, would I punish her for staying away/  Just imagine if I said, "A. you didn't come ask me for help so go sit in time out until you want to talk to me".... What?  I just sent her away, she's not coming closer.  

Finally, the last came from my ever so logical husband.  It came as I was being so fearful and stating that I never want to send my children to school.  So, here are the statistics, 33 people died in school shootings this year.  40 kids died from televisions falling on their heads.  Yes, I know this is over simplified, but it rings true.  We are questioning God, we are questioning our schools, we are questioning ourselves because of a horrific tragedy.  That is what it was, a tragedy.  Not a way of life.  My kids are just as safe at school as they are here with me.  I have to give them the light of God and let it shine through them.  Then pray for their safety and hope that no sinner changes God's plan.  If it does, pray for comfort and peace and that good will come out of it.  

Now, I promise to return to the daily antics of toddlers next post.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

processing

Yesterday, I was working.  I had entered a patient's home and found him reading 2 Chronicles.  This book of the Bible, is a "chronicle" of the entire history of God's people from Genesis through Kings though is written from the view of a priest.  As we were working on his posture and using his core muscles, we changed the subject and were just talking about how he was doing etc.  After the session was over, I got into my car and checked my phone.  Its a habit... Anyway, I saw the news that there was yet another school shooting and that 20 people had been killed.  I was stunned.  I immediately texted my mom since she had my children just to see what they were doing.  Just to know that they were safe.  Then I sat for a minute and allowed myself to feel for all those parents that probably already had gifts under the tree for their children.  The parents that had dreams and wants for their children's futures.  The parents that are now spending their time wishing they never sent their children to school.

I had 2 patient's after that and, of course, I had to go on and treat them and try to help them get the most out of life.  All the while, I was trying to process my greatest faith question.... Does God really have a plan for everyone?  If there is such a plan then was this really supposed to happen?  If a plan is so set in stone, then what is the point of praying?  I'm sure that so many of those parents have prayed for the safety and well being of their children night after night.  Who knows, maybe the parent of the shooter has also prayed the same for him. I talked to a few people about this last night and the main gist is that we don't know.  That with faith, we can sometimes see the good that comes out of horrible situations after, but that there is no way that we understand.

This morning, I opened up the Bible to 2 Chronicles.  The first chapter is about Solomon, son of David as he was established as King.  God came to Solomon and said "Ask for whatever you want me to give to you."  Solomon asked for wisdom.  He wanted wisdom and knowledge to guide and govern a nation of people.  With that, God thanked him for not asking for tangible things, for not asking for wealth, honor, death of enemies.  He gave him wisdom to lead and gave him all of those other tangible things as well.

God spoke to me through my patient today. He led me to this chapter and I'm taking it to heart.  Prayer is important.  I still don't know the answer to my "God's plan" question but I'm asking for wisdom.  I'm asking for wisdom to lead my children in a life of faith and to help lead others as we are processing the latest tragedy in a world that is so imperfect.

For now, I will continue to pray for peace and comfort for all of those families in CT.  I pray that they can feel God's presence and somehow go forward in their lives.  I pray that the rest of us hold our children tighter and feel even more grateful for the gifts that we have been given.


PS.  I will return to your previous scheduled programming of toddler antics next post
PPS. photo courtesy of www.emilystlouisphotography.zenfolio.com  She's awesome... got get some pictures

Thursday, December 13, 2012

happy anniversary!

18 years and 2 weeks ago, B. asked me to "go out with him."  It was a whirlwind romance filled with long phone calls and passing notes in the hallway.  Then, one fateful lunch time, he bet one of his friends that I wouldn't kiss him.  He bet a cheeto.  That's right, I was only worth 1 small cheeto.  Well, I heard about it and since I was too scared to kiss him with such dramatics, I chose to slap him instead.  I mean, who bets a cheeto.  So, that was the end of the romance.  Well, for 2 weeks.

I don't remember what happened over the next two weeks but I'm sure it had to do with teenagers calling each other and making a big deal over nothing.  Then, on the Dec. 13, it culminated with B. holding my history book hostage until I promised to "go out with him" again.  Then we kissed and I didn't slap him.  It was our start.  (I do have some pictures from that time, but it would take a lot more time to scan and upload them than I have this morning)

We obviously didn't know that 18 years later we would be building a house for our 2 kids and 2 dogs in our town with parades and farmer's markets.  We had no idea that the probably $30.00 ring he bought me from Claire's or The piercing Pagoda on our first Christmas (Yes, I'm rocking it today on my index finger), would then progress to engagements, wedding rings, and anniversary bands.  But, I'm so happy that that he thought I was worth it to try again.

I could not ask for more!  Happy fake anniversary!



Friday, December 7, 2012

more k drama

From my past 2 posts, you know that my kiddo is a bit of a 1 year old dare devil.  He runs, jumps, and soars without any fear.  So, needless to say, I've been waiting for the day when he makes his next ER visit.  This time, B and I were being treated to a 4 day minivacation courtesy of John Deere (man do I love that company) while my mom stayed with our children at home.  She asked for 2 things before we left 1) an insurance card and 2)the phone number for the hotel.  I left the first and told her I didn't even know where we were staying for the hotel.  It is 2012, only to myrtle beach, and we both have cell phones.  She agreed.

Day 2 of said minivacation, about 45 minutes after my somewhat relaxing facial; it would have been much more relaxing if I hadn't spent the time waiting in the lovely bathrobe reading an account of the ship wreck that happened earlier this year.  Who spends their time in a spa reading about a deathly disaster?  Anyway, I digress.  My mom called from the car on her way home from gymboree.  Apparently,  my little daredevil had run head first into a climbing apparatus.  Are you surprised?  As he bumped his head, he bit through his gum and, courtesy of Von Willenbrands disease, he was bleeding.. and bleeding... and bleeding. My mom was a rock star.  She first took him to the pediatrician who, thankfully saw him with in an hour, and apparently ruled out any head injury.  K.'s mouth was still bleeding but the pediatrician decided he wasn't going to touch his mouth.  He sent him on to the pediatric dentist's office.  So, my mom, again with rockstar status, loaded up her gps, dropped A. off at my friends home and drove the unfamiliar route to the dentist's office.  They gave him 4 stitches in his mouth, told them to feed him soft foods for awhile, and sent them on their way.  My dad had joined them at this point and told me that he held K. leaned him back and my sweet little boy laid still for his stitches.  He did, however, tell me that he was crying for mommy a bit.  rip my heart out...

So, it was about 5:00 by the time that we got the news that everything was fine.  My little guy made it through is second emergencyish situation and I wasn't even there. I will say that I'm grateful that my mom did so well and that there was plenty of wine available on said minivacation...

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

k.'s first story

This actually happened in October and I wrote then too.  I just never took the time to upload the video.  So, travel a month back and time and ...

We are getting ready to move.  Hopefully, our house will be done in mid December.  That means we have to get this one ready to rent out.  My dad and B. spent last weekend fixing up the house while the kids and I spent time with my mom at their new home.  They did A LOT of work but one of the biggest things was removing all of the baby gates.  No problem, we though, both kids are used to the steps at this point.

Turns out, we were wrong.  Literally 1 minute after B. put the fishing touch of paint on the newly spackled hole in the wall, K. rode his little car down. the. steps.  Needless to say, crying ensued.  It didn't last very long and luckily he wasn't hurt.  A few minutes later, he told B. what happened... his first story was very effective in 4 words.  He then told it to me and then since we all laughed, he told it over, and over, and over, and over.  Even the next morning...

His speech therapist will be so proud.


Monday, December 3, 2012

so many blogs, so little time

I've had things to write about swimming in my head for weeks but I just haven't found the time to write them. I'm hoping to roll out a bunch in the next few days because, well, K. is at an age where he is hilarious and I don't want to forget it when he grows.  A. is at a stage where she is trifling yet fantastic all at the same time and I also don't want to forget it.

I'll start with the genius that is my son.  This was taken the day after thanksgiving.  We were all eating dinner and then got up to begin the evening frenzy that is cleaning the kitchen, taking baths, getting lunches ready, and inevitably having one child do something crazy.  This was K.'s.

So you're saying he may not be a rocket scientist...
And, his crazy mom worked with people with brain injuries and was having serious anxiety this whole time...

Saturday, December 1, 2012

I know how it happens now

B. and I. have instituted a strict 2 activity rule for our kids at least while they are young.  The background reasoning came from research that I found when I was working on a presentation for work that talked about the change in play in children stemming from receiving direction ALL the time. Basically, how will they learn to be independent and have an imagination when they have someone always telling them what to do.  Stand in this line here, kick this ball now, run through there etc.

A. has tried dance, swimming, and gymnastics. If you remember, she initially HATED swim lessons and it was the bane of my existence.  She sometimes liked dance and sometimes hated it (much to my chagrin since I danced for years in middle and high school)  So far, she has loved gymnastics.  On her first day, despite the fact that I walk in with my scrubs on and about 7 files to do paperwork, I loved watching her.  I loved how she paid attention to her teachers and how she seemed to have more adventure than many of her other classmates.  When the class was over, the teacher came up to me and said that she was amazed at how strong A. was.  A. could hold herself up on the bar for an "angel hold" on her first try.  I smiled and said thank you when another mom chimed in, "if she works hard, she can probably make preteam."  and there you have it, I almost got sucked in.  What, the elite 4 year olds?  In my mind, she was standing on the podium for her gold medal.  If the manager had followed with, only 4 classes a week for $1 million dollars, I might have taken out a loan.  It actually took A. saying, "Mommy, I'm dressed." to get me out of the gym and back to reality.  Reality that she doesn't need to find her passion at age 4 and I don't really want her to.  Reality that though she may be strong, she is also really, REALLY tall which doesn't make for a gymnasts body.

So, for now, A. will keep doing her 1x a week classes and we'll see if our new town has a gym in it's near by surroundings...