what not to say to a pregnant woman

I am now 33 weeks pregnant (8 months for those of you not living in the land of pregnancy).  Most of the time people are very nice and I haven't even really had the random belly patting that so many people hate.  But, I have experienced 2 very wierd statements from people I don't even really know. 
1) A private duty nurse for one of the kiddos at work came up to me and asked how far along I was.  At that point, I was probably between 22 and 25 weeks (Idon't remember exactly).  She then said, "You are progressing nicely, I can even tell from behind now."  hhhmmmm..... are you saying my butt is really big?  I didn't really respond just kind of smiled and walked away.  Seriously, I'm not sure where she is from, just that she has a thick accent, but I'm not sure that telling someone their ass is huge is acceptable in any culture.
2) I stopped at Lowes the other day to pick up a few things as we are redoing the nursery for the babe to come.  This very kind woman offered to help me carry the paint bucket.  I declined b/c I'm not an invalid, just pregnant.  Anyway, it started a conversation and she again, asked how far along I am.  I told her I'm due in March.  She replied with, "March?!? Well, it is good for the baby to have such a big home."  Seriously?

a's perception and a day of firsts

Everyday A has 3 rules for school.  B reviews them with her before he leaves in the morning. 
1) Be a good listener
2) Be a good friend
3) Throw balls and not toys

Tonight at dinner, she did her typical conversation of "hows your day Daddy?"  She then followed it up with, "you throw balls?" and "you listen to your teacher?"  This started a conversation about what she thinks we do all day at work.  I think she pictures us in a big room with our friends having circle time and playing with toys.  She has been to B's golf course on several occasions so she probably thinks he has circle time on a really, really dirty floor and he and Mr. Jeff and Uncle Mark sing "wheels on the bus" and "if you are happy and you know it."  Really, they drive around in golf carts, look up youtube videos, talk about sports, drink coffee, and climb on tractors.  She'd probably like that day too.

The crazy thing is, she has never been to good ole hospital that I call work, but her perception of my day is probably pretty accurate.  I can't tell you how many times in a day that I sing kid's songs or throw balls.  I even tell people not to throw toys.  I do an orientation group to talk about the date and the weather.  I help people eat lunch at the same times she does.  If we had nap time, it would pretty much be the same. What does that say about me... A could do my job... 

Today was also a day of firsts.
1) first snow man... I was not present b/c I braved the completely clear roads and went to work on time.  B said it was really fun. They played "fall on your butt."  "Fall on your knees."  "step in the snow" and then built the snowman.  She has been talking to the snowman since then.  My favorite conversation was something like this, "Don't go away into water."

(notice the size of the snow pants... They are 3T... she's a giant)

2) first shiner-  I am proud to say that I was not present for this either.  A was playing with one of her favorite toys... a giant box.  Apparently she was opening and closing the front to "scare" Daddy.  I guess she shut herself in a little to hard b/c she hit herself in the face REALLY hard.  I don't think the picture does it justice but, her daddy was proud of the first black eye!

the beer store

A guest post from Daddy...

Last weekend I took A to the beer store for the first time.  As are most new things with A, it was an experience.

I open the door and A darts in.  Naturally a two-year old running unaccompanied into a liquor store gets everyone's attention. 

I follow closely behind her and A asks in her best outdoor voice, "This is where we get beer, Daddy?".
Me: Yes, A
A:  I like it!
Me:  You don't like beer.
A:  No, I no like beer.  I like milk or water or juice.
Me:  That'a girl A.

A begins pointing to the refrigerator full of different cases of beer. I like the colors Daddy--red, green, blue, purple...

She proceeds to make our selection:  A variety pack of Sam Adams.  She apparently has good taste.  As I pull it out of the fridge, the other cases slide forward to take its place with a loud crash.  A thinks this is one of the funnier things that happened all weekend.  Finally we make our way to checkout and the nice man at the register has a lollipop ready for us.  Who knew?

So to sum up:  between the bright colors, loud noises and free candy, I believe that A now has the same affection for our local liquor store as I do.  I love father/daughter days.

boys

I mentioned in the last post that A says, "I love boys." A LOT.  Now, I'm not really sure how to react to this.  I mean, she's 2.  Today, at the library, she took it a step farther.  We have a Friday ritual where we go to the library and read some books in the corner to one of the many stuffed animals that they keep up on the shelf.  She then decides what books to get and we take them home.  Today, as we were reading, a little boy walked by.  He caught A's eye and she waved and said "hi". Nice and social.  I was impressed.  Then, she turned to me and said, "Did you see that little boy? He's handsome.  He has a penis."

Now what do you say to that?

some father daughter arguments

I love the dynamic between B and A.  He treats our 2 year old daughter like he treats many of his other relationships.  He contemplates, negotiates, and when that doesn't work he says, "I'm right."  This happens on a daily basis in the most ridiculous situations.  My 2 favorite examples from the past few days...
1) A has started ending many words with a y.  This is for no apparent reason except that perhaps because she gets a rise out of her father.  She'll say, "I'm going to sleep in my beddy."  or "Do you want to look at the shapey."  B's answer is to say, "No, and you sound ridiculous."  This then proceeds into a 5 minute conversation between the 2 of them arguing about the correct way to talk.  Somewhere towards the end B says, "I'm right and you are wrong."  A, of course, has already moved onto a different conversation.
2) A has learned the polite conversation starter of "How was your day at work?"  Once we answer, she'll say, "that's nice."  Yesterday, at dinner she asked B who started into a real answer about people joining the greens committee, the bulldozer that they are using at work, and probably something about grass that very few people find interesting.  About 2 seconds into the conversation A interrupted with , "I love you, Daddy." 
"I love you too, A."
"I love boys."
hhhmmm what is more interesting, grass or A's love of boys?

i was doing it

I must hear this statement 50 times a day. "No, I was doing it." is said when I try to turn on the water at the faucet, try to open the door, help with A's pants, push the buttons on the microwave etc.  I know I should be happy about this independent streak but goodness.  Our first example of the day: this morning at 4:55 am, A came into our room ready and raring to go.  However, she definitely had not had enough sleep because she would lay still in our bed for awhile, then fuss, then ask to go downstairs/ to the bathroom/ outside/ really anywhere to be awake.  Finally, at 5:25 B got up with her to take her to the bathroom.  2 minutes later I heard, "No, I was doing it." and then screaming crying.  It was the end of the world as she knew it.  The horrible, horrible man had flushed the toilet.

what is his name?

A is going through a phase where she wants to know everyone's name.  It may come from the fact that we are continuously throwing out baby names with no end in sight.  Regardless, I get the question, "Mommy, whats his name?" at least 2-3 times daily.  This question may encompass the people near us in the grocery line, the person driving the car next to us, or animals and people in books.  The problem is that the answer is never simple.  I now make up a name but if it is not to A's satisfaction she'll say, "No, silly Mommy, what is his name?"  This can go on for 3-4 minutes as I make up any name.  Finally, I'll say, "well you tell me his name."  She'll then say some name that I said at the very beginning of my string of 20 names.  The next predicament is remembering all of these random names given to pictures in books to prevent the same sequence from happening again.  Today, the scenario went like this... A is flipping through a cat book given by my aunt for Christmas as I am undecorating the Christmas tree. She comes upon a bulldog.  "Mommy, what's his name."  I start with my normals... "Judge, Buck, Teddy, Mister." 
"No, no, no, no"
A is getting frustrated b/c I obviously do not know the right name.  uuummmm  "Peter, Max (this name usually works for anything), Snoopy."
"No, silly mommy, his name" while emphatically pointing to the picture.
"I don't know, A, you tell me."
"Judge Ms. Stacy Collins."
"I should have known."

I'll probably remember this one but we'll see if it is the same next time we look at the book.