a weird morning

K. has a problem; he accidentally sits up while he is sleeping.  Sometimes it happens after he's been asleep for 15 minutes and sometimes after several hours.  Regardless, he apparently tries to roll over but uses his arms too much.  This pushes him into a sitting position where he half way wakes up.  This half way awake, however, is the half that is a screaming, crying, where is my body awake. It doesn't take much to get him back to sleep, just to lie him down and sometimes give him a pacifier but, the whole house is awake while this is happening.  Last night, the accidental sit turned into an accidental stand.  How on earth does a person stand up on accident?  This is an answer that I don't have.  But K. must have pushed himself up to sitting and I guess then onto standing.  Then, he was wandering around his crib like a drunkard, half from the squishy crib mattress, half from being asleep. All the while, he was screaming at the top of his lungs.  A pacifier, lovie, and someone laying his confused body back down and he was back asleep.

However, it was 5:30 am so A. was then wide awake.  She does not go back to sleep with such ease.  We decided to read some books in her bed so this groggy mama could wake up.  We were reading Berenstain Bears Get the Gimmies.  Now I know that Stan and Jan Berenstain were writing in the 80's, but were those little rides outside of a grocery store ever called a bucking airplane, frog, horse etc. etc.  Stan and Jan called this particular ride outside of the grocery store a bucking frog.  I think you know where this is going.  I read bucking frog as fucking bog.  A. then said, what is a fucking bog.  I laughed which meant she repeated... again... and again... and again.

So, it's now 7:11 am, we've been up for 2 hours with confused cursing children.  Oh happy day!

not me monday

Most of the "Not Me Mondays" are of my children making huge messes.  I don't care about messes so there tend to be a lot of them in our house.  However, this one is different.  I actually am quite embarrassed by this "Not Me Monday".

Since K. is down to breast feeding only 2 times a day, I can not use it as my main weight loss/ fitness program.  We have been going on family runs 3-4 times a week.  B. pushes the 2 kiddos in the jogging stroller and I try to contain our 2 dogs.  Usually, Cooley stops to pee while Aspen is running forward so that I end up being yanked in 2 directions.  2 seconds later, Aspen stops to pee while Cooley is running forward.  This happens a good 4-5 times during the run.  We've been going out about 1.5 miles and then turning around to run back.  During the last 3/4 mile, A. runs with us.  Then, B. and I are high kneeing it, ready to stop on a dime to not run over A. all the while yanking the 2 dogs to keep them under control.  Needless to say, we are quite a scene and I may be better off finding yet another way to keep active.  A., however, loves these runs.  She asks almost every day if we are going.  Our friend Emily suggested we sign her up for a kids fun run since she likes it so much.  I think/ thought this would be a great idea to keep her encouraged.

So, Saturday morning A. and I went out for our first run with out the stroller.  I was excited.  I didn't know how far she would make it but I figured we could walk intermittently.  I did still take the dogs b/c I figured it wouldn't be such a big deal when i would be stopping for her anyway.  We got all ready including leashing up the dogs, strapping the ipod to her arm with the volume all the way up so that she could hear it with out headphones.  She was ready!!

We made it 1 block when Cooley did his first pee stop.  However, when he stopped and Aspen kept going, I was yanked and A. tripped over the leash.  Down she went.  She got a skinned knee which according to her was bleeding on the inside.  She didn't just cry, she wailed.  She wanted a bandaid and she wanted it right then.  I thought for a second and decided that if we went back, unleashed the dogs, got the bandaid, and comforted her from all the unnecessary drama, we would never leave.  So, I pushed her onward.  "You can do it, you'll be fine.  Running will make it better"  She didn't agree and as I kept going with a sobbing child behind me for 2 more blocks, I decided to stop and talk to her.  "A. you are fine, its not bleeding, and I know you like to run.  Lets keep moving."  "Ok. Mommy,"  We start again, and the crying begins again.  Seriously, I was starting to get a little angry now at the unnecessary drama.  "A. no more crying, we can sing, or talk, or listen to music, but we are done crying."  Her little lip quivered but she said, ok, and we started again.  We were now about .5 miles from the house.  I decided to try to motivate her to go up to the local elementary school playground.  Now, she is more stomping than running, and is continuing to whine.  "A. pick up your feet, you aren't even running."  Now, I probably would have realized my ridiculousness on my own but looking to my right seeing a nice family out washing their car looking at me like I was a horrible person as my 3.5 year old child is screaming and I'm yelling at her to pick up her feet.  To make it worse "Red solo cup" was playing on her ipod.  Now, I'm not only a slave driver but one that encourages under age drinking.

Reevaluation time.  "Do you want to go to the playground?"
"No, I just want to go home."

We went the short cuts, got back to our neighborhood playground and miraculously, her knee began to feel better.  she played for about 15 minutes and then decided she could run home.

Moral of the story, add to the ridiculousness that is running with 2 kids and 2 dogs by adding a fanny pack complete with band aids.  And, maybe be a little more understanding of a 3.5 (I'm sorry, according to A. she is 3 and 2/3 now) year old girl.

winners

"We're winners, aren't we, Daddy?"  This is A.'s new phrase; it's usually followed by a dramatic and somewhat annoying high 5.  She also see's pictures of the 2 of them together and says, "Look Daddy.  It's the winners."  I guess it all started when he was helping her get into the pool during swimming lessons and said something to the tune of, "you can do it, you are a winner."  That innocent little comment has become a constant in our house now.

"I took my dishes over, I'm a winner."
"I ran for so long, I'm a winner.
 "I pooped on the potty again, I'm such a winner."
My personal favorite:  "I got dressed by myself, I'm a winner. Daddy is always a winner because he wears pants." (Really, since when do pants qualify winning.)  

I guess it's ok b/c she hasn't branched over to calling people losers.  But, there are only so many things a person can and should win in one day.

Then there is the problem of actually losing.  We had the annual egg roll on Easter where the oldest and youngest roll their hard boiled eggs towards each other.  Remarkably, only one cracks.  The person with the cracked egg is the loser and the winner advances to the next round.  K. went against Oma, he won (to be fair, he touched his egg then I rolled it).  A. went against Papa, she lost.  We told her she had to sit on the side and I could see the build up begin.  "But, I'm a winner"  cue sobbing.  Oma tried to console her by saying she was out too, it didn't work.  At first, I tried to make a very little deal out of it and keep going with the game.  Daddy rolled against Gramps and Daddy won.  Gramps tried to console by encouraging her to eat her egg with him.  It didn't work.  Granny J. and I rolled against each other.  I won by default because she rolled hers into the piano.  That little bit of hilarity didn't even work.  So, we went out for a chat.  Turns out, winning wasn't necessarily the problem, not winning the chocolate bunny prize was the problem.  We chatted about other games where there a winners and losers.  Nothing really worked.  I defaulted to Daddy since, I'm not a part of the winners group anyway.  I"m not sure exactly how B. solved the problem except that he won the game after having to chuck his egg at K. while K. was running around holding his egg hostage in his hand.  And, no one has eaten the prize.        

The winners together at the Easter Egg hunt.  

another first

3/20/12... I"m a little late, as I am with most of K.'s firsts.  But, still important none the less.  This experience was the epitome of K.'s personality.  After his first nap, around 11 when we head out to do any errands, I swooped K up to go get his first haircut.  This little guy didn't make a peep, just gave me a look, "here we go again."  We got to Pigtails and Crewcuts and he just played at the train table until I again swooped him up and put him in the "car".  We wrapped the big apron over his shoulders and he took it all in stride.  She sprayed his hair and there wasn't even a change in expression.  My sweet little even keeled boy got his first haircut without so much as a shake of the head.  I hope he will be this laid back his entire life.

Look at that big boy!!

This is the haircut that "Nasty girl" said was too ugly and A. couldn't play with her.  I think it's super cute

Our lunch date following the haircuts.  Can you tell I was feeling sentimental about going back to work.  Who takes pictures at the pizza place in the local shopping center?

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not me monday

This I would do, I would say yes to painting nails AFTER I finished changing K.'s diaper.  I would agree to a random color of blue for fingers and toes.  I would NOT say yes to painting them by herself.  However, if it did happen, I would only refer to the # 1 rule in our house, "messes are ok, you just have to clean them up."  Then, I would spend the next 15 minutes with a Q tip and fingernail polish remover to remove the blue from all of the other places that were painted besides the finger nails.  Including the chin and belly button!

  

tag a long tot

I am the second child.  I love my brother and I really don't feel like I have "second child syndrome"  Yes, this is a coined term--  I googled it and it was the first thing that came up.  Well, after the dentist that was being charged with murder after a second child died under his care (don't go to Dr. Bambgboye in Essex, New Jersey).  Apparently, this "syndrome" can lead negative attention seeking behaviors, sibling rivalries because of comparison, lack of ambition, and commitment problems.  All this just from being born second.  If this were the case, I don't think anyone would have 2 children.  The worst that I felt was bitter having to sit through a million soccer games when my brother only had to go to one dance recital a year.

Never the less, I feel like K. gets the shaft A LOT.

• He has mostly all hand me down toys.  The fist thing he walked with was her old pink shopping cart. 
• He rides in A.'s old car seat, it's pink and brown.  
• His towel has "A." embroidered on it.  
• I have not even started his baby book (granted A. is only 9 months in hers).  
• A. never watched TV until she was at least 14 months, K. eats breakfast with A. in front of Dora every morning.  
• He has to tag along to each and every event that is hers.  The worst part is that during A.'s swimming lesson, there is a mommy & me class where K. is not enrolled.  Sadly, he toddles around and watches as she swims happily. 

Poor guy knocking at the door of swimming lessons

K., I love you more than you could know.  Your day will come where A. has to follow in your shadows for awhile.  Until then, thanks for being so calm and cool as you tag along!

back to the real world

For the past year, I have had the pleasure of working only 2.5 days a week.  I have been able to stay home with my kids the remainder of the time.  I'm feeling sentimental today, so I'll say that I loved every second of it. However, if I look really deeply, I'll admit that about 5 months into it, I picked up some extra time with my contract hours, really looked forward to 1:00 for the double nap, and found myself in a ball on the floor on at least one occasion where the Collins kids and I were not making a good team.  So, I guess it is more that I loved most of it.  I loved breakfast in our pajamas, playgrounds in the middle of the day, planning projects, problem solving our house organization and our daily schedule to have happy kids.

Tomorrow I return to the real world.  We are trying to buy another house so that means daddy can  no longer be the "sugar daddy" but there needs to be a second income.  I think that I have the best possible job in that I am expected to work 32 hours (22, 45 minute sessions for those of you in the therapy world) but I set them myself.  I go to people's homes so I don't really have to worry about people standing me up.  And, they are all with in a 15 minute radius of my home.  I keep telling myself that it is only 4 more hours when you think about the amount of time I was driving before, but it is over 4 days instead of 3.  So, I'm a little sad today, and I've been a little sad since I accepted the job.

But, today was a roller coaster; I feel like it was as accurate representation of being a stay at home mom in general.  It's hard work.  For me, working outside of the home is actually easier because when I'm home I'm not only mentally challenged like I am at work but emotionally challenged.  At work, I don't love the people that I'm with and so it is a lot easier to make choices without worry and the emotional backlash.  Here is a timeline of our day.

6:05- A. jolts me awake with, "Where is daddy?" I tell her she just might catch him as he's going out the door if she hurries.  She runs yelling, "Daddy!"  This promptly wakes up her brother.  I roll over and its the start to the day!

By 7:00, we've changed 2 sets of sheets and are ready to head downstairs for breakfast smoothies.

We play for awhile and at 9:00, K. goes down for a nap while A. and I decide to get ready for the tea party that she and her best friend R. are going to have later in the day.  We baked muffins, made paper flowers, and made tissue paper chair covers.

2 hours later and I am crafted out.  Just in time for K to wake up and want to play.  We get out the Easter stuff including 2 of those stupid stuffed animals that sing and dance when you push their feet.  A. turns one on and my little calm even keeled boy screams and visibly shakes.  He practically climbed into my skin and would not leave until A. took them out of the room.  I don't know what he things a donald duck with blue bunny ears is going to do to him, but somewhere in that 12 month old mind, it was scary.  Very scary.  At that point, we had set him off for an unhappy time as he could not get himself together until 45 minutes later when he began to stuff his face with grilled ham and cheese.  A. said, "that was a tumultous time."  (I have NO idea where she got that)

1:00- finally nap time.  They both do to their rooms and I mop before sitting down to watch one of my ridiculous shows that my husband refuses to watch with me.  That's right, I watch Make it or Break it from ABC family.

Between the hours of 1-2:30, A. comes out of her room no less than 15x for one reason or another.  "Did you know it's Baby's birthday."  "Do you know where my carebear mask is?"  "My clock is taking for a long time to turn green."  "I pooped"  In other words, not much of a break

2:30, finally let her come down. For the next hour, she perfected her table and stood by the door just WAITING for the tea party.  She was SOOOO excited.

The scream of glee as R. rang the doorbell was fantastic.  The girls were sooo cute and stayed entertained for about 25 minutes.

However, right before R. left, A. led her in a fun experiment of how messy can we make my room.  Apparently, they decided that pulling every single thing out of every single drawer including the one with insy tinsy tiny hair bands that would be fun.  All the while, they were yelling stupid, stupid, stupid, and jumping up and down.  As I saw the mess, I took a deep breath and wasn't really that mad though it was ridiculous.  However, as everyone was helping to clean up besides A. aka the leader of the the game, I got more and more angry.  Then, as she began screaming, "I want to go to a restaurant for dinner."  I got even more mad.  Where is that coming from and no, we aren't going out to eat.

11 minutes in her room (the time it took me to clean up) and no TV for the rest of the day and we moved on.    

So, both of my kids had extreme highs and extreme lows all in 1 day.  Cram in the birthday party we had for Baby, play doh, basketball, and B. fixing our broken sink and the whole day is one gigantic mess that I will REALLY REALLY miss.

april fools day

my favorite joke is the interrupting cow joke.  Just in case you don't know it
Knock Knock
Who's there
The interrupting cow
The interrupting cow ...
( interrupt with) mooooo

I"m even laughing as I type.

I understand how ridiculous this is, but now you know why April fools day with a preschooler would be right up my alley.

A. called her daddy first thing in the morning (B. was already at work) to start off with her "trick".  "Daddy is it dark at work?"  "uummm no", he said.  "Oh, its night time here.  April Fools!!"  I laughed, he was confused.

A. called Oma and Papa.  "Oma, there is a dinosaur in my house, RROOOAAARRR! April Fools!"  Again, I laughed pretty hard as they pretended to chuckle.

I let A. put food coloring in all of our oatmeal.  She and I laughed the entire time we were putting it together.  I even chuckled the rest of the day as the blue and green remnants were still on their faces.

"Mommy, I painted my face just like K."  --- hhhmmm I didn't really laugh at that

A. made paper ears with her friend R. in the church nursery so that when her parents came down they could say that they grew red ears.  I couldn't wait for them to get there.  As the girls moved onto something else, I kept replacing the ears.  Lets face it, I probably would have worn the ears but, well, that's just silly.

We had breakfast for dinner followed by "bacon and eggs"  A. probably said April Fools" a good 10 times. I thought it another 5 times.

3 pretzel sticks, white chocolate and a yellow m&m to take to school tomorrow

 Finally, A. left this beauty after she had been playing quietly by herself for awhile.

That's not so much "April fools" but more of a "this is our life"

Happy April Fools Day!!