Sunday, May 6, 2012

something to tell you

About a week ago, one of my best friends blogged about some of the things that mothers do for their children.  Thinking past birthing our children and giving your all to them every day, there are things that either mom's forget to mention to their new parent friends or they decide not to tell us.  Despite the fact that there are several people that will find this too much information (including my dad, father in law, and brother in law), I'm here to break the silence on this phenomenon; breast feeding shrinks your boobs.

Let me back up a little. Well before A. was born, I decided to breast feed.  B. was all for it but said it was my decision since ultimately, it was my body that would be feeding this child every 3 hours for months.  The first few days with A. were hard b/c she was nursing pretty constantly but then we got into a routine and it was good.  I never really looked at it as a bonding time but really felt the health and cost benefits were enough to justify it for our family.  She breastfed until about 14 months (by then it was down to 2 times a day).

I found breastfeeding K. to be much more difficult for a number of reasons.
1.  I couldn't just huddle up on the couch for a few minutes b/c I was chasing a toddler around.
2. Pumping was harder b/c my work schedule didn't allow me to pump at the same times I was feeding K. So, my body would be all discombobulated on the 2 days that I worked.
3. Then there was the 2 days that I forgot some of my supplies; 1 time I drove to the strip mall closest to my work which happened to be in a not so nice part of town.  So bad, in fact, that when I got back to work one of my black coworkers called another and they both laughed out loud at the white girl venturing into said strip mall.  The other time, I decided not to relive this experience and I hand expressed which was not easy or quick.
3. I don't know why, but my hormones were all off as K. was decreasing his feedings and increasing table foods.  There was one day that I was talking to one of my good friends on the phone while curled in the fetal position crying b/c I had just told A. to "shut up".  It was awful, I couldn't stop crying and I was being so unreasonable when making decisions for and about my children.  I felt so crazy that I went to the doctor later that day. He told me the simple thing to do was to stop breast feeding.  I left there crying b/c I wasn't ready to stop and how would he know, he was a man anyway.  Needless to say, looking back on it, I know I was hormonal and it was irrational. However, in my head, he couldn't tell me to stop something so healthy for my kid and selfishly, my main source of burning calories.

Well, 2 nights ago, K. pushed me away as he was going to bed.  He weaned himself.  This is how I wanted it to be.  But, now as I am adjusting to the last part of being physically attached to my son, I am also adjusting to the post 2 pregnancy, and cumulative 28 months of breast feeding body.  So, to all my friends having babies (and there are plenty of you) 1st or 2nd.  Beware, you too may be joining the itty bitty titty committee.  And, there is no welcoming party.

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