birthday parties

Growing up, I had the rule that I was allowed to invite 1 kid older than my age to a birthday party (I could invite 6 people to my 5th birthday etc.)  This is the policy that we've adopted for our kids.  However, I think that we are the only people in America or at least in our land of surburbia that has this policy.  We could go to a birthday party at least once a month if not more.  A.'s preschool has the unwritten rule that if you invite one kid, you invite them all.  I understand this to a point but, 1) 3 year old kids don't understand being invited.  They don't know if Sue got to go to Timmy's party and when it was. 2) 3 year old kids have no sense of time  The party could have been a year ago or 3 days ago in A.'s mind and they all start to run together.  3) what if the parents can't afford the extravaganzas that are parties for 22 kids?  So, without the extravaganza, you can't invite any friends from school.  How does that foster relationships?  I mean, it is a reality of life that you are friends with some people and only acquaintances with others and if your honest, some people you just don't really like.

Now, on the other side of the mega birthday parties are the people that have to buy presents for kids they don't even know.  I really think we could have a line item in our budget for buying gifts.  These gifts don't usually get opened at the party  With the exception of 1 party, no child has opened the presents there.  From talking to some other mom's it's because at these parties for 22 kids, there isn't time.  I get that, but how does a child learn to be grateful if they never say thank you and open these presents in the comfort of their own home.  On the other side, A. really thinks about what she gets each kid and makes them a card.  She wants to see them play with their new present.

I guess my point in this rant is that I feel like it is getting harder and harder to keep life simple and birthday parties are definitely an area that seem to be getting bigger and bigger and bigger.  However, my kid does love to go to them so I'll suck up my opinion and be grateful that she gets an hour to play.