projecting emotions

I have a lot of fears,  some are over the top like falling off of a bridge and being unable to get out of the car or having a tunnel collapse and only breathing CO2 until the water rushes into my car.  I know, ridiculous.  I have had to overcome both of these so that I no longer cross a bridge with my windows open even in the middle of a rain storm; said storm may have caused the windshield wipers to actually propel all of the water into the window making it so much harder to see that I very well could have caused my own fear to happen.  I also stopped holding my breath through every tunnel.  One could call it therapy that my old commute required me to drive through a tunnel to desensitize me from the first time I got stuck in traffic and almost passed out trying not to breath the car exhaust.

I'm also pretty conscious not to pass these fears onto my children.  However, 3 things have recently forced me to put aside my fears and make sure my kids don't pick them up.  

1) We climbed this beautiful lighthouse in North Carolina.

It had this staircase with spaces between each stair so that I could have easily tripped and dropped my son down 30 flights of stairs.  

notice the relief on my face as we were back at the bottom.

The top of the lighthouse had so much wind that my hair was huge and I had to ignore it to keep my rambunctious toddler pinned to my body totally against his will.

I may not have done that well at hiding that fear but we made it to the top and I got my well earned sticker at the bottom.

2)

This little critter was hiding behind our bench when we were doing our yard work.  A.'s first reaction was to scream.  Mine was to jump up on the shed and stay away but I didn't want her to think it was scary.  So, B, my very brave husband, caught the little squirmy thing and A. followed my lead to touch the tail while it stuck it's tongue out at us.   

3) This fear didn't even register to me until B. pointed it out.  A. has been really practicing on her bike with only 1 training wheel.  I find it extremely frustrating since it now takes us 30 minutes to get around the block as she stops and puts her feet down every 10 feet.  I also feel the need to challenge her all the time.  Despite the fact that she will not go faster than a slow walking pace, I nonchalantly told her to drive down a ramp at our nearby church.  I refused to let her get off because she was scared.  She made it half way and then forgot how to stop so she tried to grab onto the railing and promptly got herself wedged between her bike and railing with a skinned knee.  If you know my daughter, a skinned knee is as painful as actually cutting off her leg and is the most awful thing around.  As I offered my half ass consoling hug, B. said, you never would have done that.  He pointed out my slow and steady pace on a ski slope just so that I don't feel out of control. He didn't mean to make me feel bad but it definitely put me in my place.  So, I will hide my bridges, heights, snakes, and tunnel fears but I guess I won't go so far as to discount the natural fears.