love/hate

Kindergarten is coming to a close.  In writing this blog, I was trying to think about all the ways that A. has changed.  Honestly, I really can't say that she is very different.  Sure, there are some specific book learning that she is more knowledgeable about; she is reading some simple books, she can tell me the types of clouds, she can do some simple math, her art is more detailed... yada... yada.. yada.  I don't really know what I expected, but it still seems that her natural strengths are still the same and that we are still struggling with the things she struggled with in preschool.

1. She is a leader, she likes to be in charge. As long as she is playing with kiddos that accept that, things are fine.  If not, it's a battle from the start.
2. If someone else has an idea and she is not a part of it, she thinks she is being left out.  Her feelings get sooo hurt.
3. She likes to have a "go to" friend.  Really, who doesn't?  We all like to feel comfortable and have that one person near us that ALWAYS accepts us.  In class this year, she didn't really have 1 friend.  Her teacher said that she played with lots of kids, but never one close friend.  So, I don't think she ever felt really comfortable.  She does best when she has a plan, when she knows what is going to happen.  I think not knowing who to play with everyday made it really hard for her.

Putting these 3 things together, we had some drama.  We went though Dec. through April where she would come home everyday telling me who was mean to her.  She would focus on one girl, also a leader.  A's day was either good or bad based on whether she was allowed to play in centers with this other girl.  I tried everything from role playing, telling her to play with 5 other people before this little girl, telling her to invite the other girl to play with her.  It was soo frustrating.  Well, then her mom and I chatted.  I don't know why we didn't do it in Dec... It was awesome.  It seems like this little girl had no idea of the effect that she was having on A.  The day after our chat, the little girl walked up and hugged A.  Sine then, I haven't heard one word about it.    

 I think that this particular issue passed, but I think this will always be a struggle for A.  I feel like I just got a glimpse of the drama that will be year after year.  Thank goodness for other mom's to chat it out with.... and for wine:)