The picture morning

Day 4: not much better...

We survived the cup escapade where we actually had a nice leisurely morning; I drove A. to school meaning that we got to leave 30 minutes later than she has to catch the bus to get to a building 2 miles from our house. So, we were forgetting the rush and juggle that we are typically doing in the morning.  And, it was picture day.  I fed the kids breakfast of eggs and cereal and went upstairs to get myself ready.  A. came up a few minutes later and said that she was done eating.  OK, I got her dressed in her picture outfit and then went to get K. ready.  A then put her hair up in little lopsided pigtails with the rest of her hanging out in the back.  I briefly considered telling her to take them out and then realized that we have beautiful photos from Emily St. Louis (emilystlouisphotography.zenpholio.com) and who really needs school photos?

side note: Lifetouch--I think you stay in business because parents feel like they have to purchase
the ugly pose/backgrounds just because they were gracing the walls of our homes when we were children. We had to choose the pose from a close up shot, odd horizontal picture I think to highlight the terrible background, or one that shows more outfit; all the options were bad.  Then, we picked a background; the choices were gray, blue, pink, red, or a lighter blue; again, all options were a little hazy and all a little ugly.  There is not option of just buy one ugly photo because you have to, nope, you have to purchase an entire package.  Packages start at $20 and go up to $120 with the option of add ons such as names and years. We finally settled on 1 8x10, 2 5x7, and a bunch of trash.  I mean does anyone carry wallets with photos anymore.  So, Grandparents, you are still getting the ugly expensive 5x7.  Maybe we will put iti n an even uglier frame circa 1987 just to make you feel nostalgic.  Then, we will give A. the rest to I don't know give to her dolls...

Anyway, I digress.  A. decided that she was still hungry.  I went against my better ju dgement and let her have a yogurt since we still had 15 minutes.  She went through minutes 1 through 14 without a hitch.  Then, as I was saying, "we have to leave now."... she spilled yogurt on her outfit.  Now the bus is coming down the street and we have to change her clothes.  I'm running upstairs, I pull out a cute dress and then realize it is a halter dress and probably against the dress code.  I pull out another dress and A. hates it.  We settle on a leggings outfit just as the bus is turning the corner.  I'm yelling.  A. is crying. and K. is utterly confused.  We dash out the door and the bus already has it's door open 1/2 a block away.  A. is sprinting up the street with me behind holding a screaming K. that does not handle "hurry up" very well.  She makes it within 50 feet of the bus and it pulls away.  I don't know how the bus driver doesn't hear the blood curdling screams erupting from my child's mouth, but she somehow pulls away.  I immediately start in with, "I'll take you.  It's ok." when a random jogger witnessing the sadness says, "you can beat the bus to the next corner, she has to stop 3 times before then."  OOOHHH problem solved.  We drop A. with the babysitter on the way and A. and I jog down the street.  Her sobs are decreasing but she is still rushed and tears are still flowing.  "What if she is mad at me?" she says as the bus driver is opening the door.  I don't have time to answer.  I can only pat her on the back, wave, and watch my crying kid ride away.

OK.  Momma has to let go.  I have to trust that she can calm herself and have a good day.  The sane momma in me knows that she can do it.  But, the crazy mom takes over.  I immediately text P., the middle schooler on the bus.  "Is she ok?  Tell her I love her and I'm sorry that I yelled."  I get a text back from this girl that is getting an even better space in my heart daily saying, "she's fine.  She's playing with a second grader."  Again, the sane momma knows now that she is fine but the crazy mom still takes over.  I call B. sobbing.  "Can't we homeschool?  I didn't even get to tell her that everything would be OK.  And, I forgot to change the message in her lunch box."  As usual, my husband takes the brunt of the crazy.  He calms me down some.  But, the crazy momma still has a hold of me.  I text 2 other moms that are dropping off their kids at school and will possibly catch a glimpse of her.  I think the texts/ messages say something abt hating kindergarten.  The 20 minutes of waiting feels like eternity but, I still calm some since I pass the time driving to my patient's house chatting (yes, via hands free device) to my my sister-in-law whom is actually a sane momma of a kindergartner.  Calm is finally achieved when my Momma friends both say that, of course, A. is fine and sitting with her classroom.  Sane momma finally kicks in.  This is ridiculous.  The damn cup incident has turned me into someone that I'm not.  Get it together.

So, week 2 will be better for us both.  Hopefully, sane momma will return.  This school picture probably still won't be on my wall, but will have a special place in my heart.