processing

Yesterday, I was working.  I had entered a patient's home and found him reading 2 Chronicles.  This book of the Bible, is a "chronicle" of the entire history of God's people from Genesis through Kings though is written from the view of a priest.  As we were working on his posture and using his core muscles, we changed the subject and were just talking about how he was doing etc.  After the session was over, I got into my car and checked my phone.  Its a habit... Anyway, I saw the news that there was yet another school shooting and that 20 people had been killed.  I was stunned.  I immediately texted my mom since she had my children just to see what they were doing.  Just to know that they were safe.  Then I sat for a minute and allowed myself to feel for all those parents that probably already had gifts under the tree for their children.  The parents that had dreams and wants for their children's futures.  The parents that are now spending their time wishing they never sent their children to school.

I had 2 patient's after that and, of course, I had to go on and treat them and try to help them get the most out of life.  All the while, I was trying to process my greatest faith question.... Does God really have a plan for everyone?  If there is such a plan then was this really supposed to happen?  If a plan is so set in stone, then what is the point of praying?  I'm sure that so many of those parents have prayed for the safety and well being of their children night after night.  Who knows, maybe the parent of the shooter has also prayed the same for him. I talked to a few people about this last night and the main gist is that we don't know.  That with faith, we can sometimes see the good that comes out of horrible situations after, but that there is no way that we understand.

This morning, I opened up the Bible to 2 Chronicles.  The first chapter is about Solomon, son of David as he was established as King.  God came to Solomon and said "Ask for whatever you want me to give to you."  Solomon asked for wisdom.  He wanted wisdom and knowledge to guide and govern a nation of people.  With that, God thanked him for not asking for tangible things, for not asking for wealth, honor, death of enemies.  He gave him wisdom to lead and gave him all of those other tangible things as well.

God spoke to me through my patient today. He led me to this chapter and I'm taking it to heart.  Prayer is important.  I still don't know the answer to my "God's plan" question but I'm asking for wisdom.  I'm asking for wisdom to lead my children in a life of faith and to help lead others as we are processing the latest tragedy in a world that is so imperfect.

For now, I will continue to pray for peace and comfort for all of those families in CT.  I pray that they can feel God's presence and somehow go forward in their lives.  I pray that the rest of us hold our children tighter and feel even more grateful for the gifts that we have been given.

PS.  I will return to your previous scheduled programming of toddler antics next post

PPS. photo courtesy of www.emilystlouisphotography.zenfolio.com  She's awesome... got get some pictures