for the love of God

It's summer so the kiddo's and I are home most days by ourselves.  We are right in the middle of B's 19 day stretch, my least favorite 3 weeks of summer.  Anyway, I'm getting pretty used to getting up and out on these days to go to festivals, grocery shopping, friends houses, etc.  My goal is to be a "together mom".  You know, one of those mom's that has everything packed, her kids look cute, and she even has on makeup.  I have yet to have that happen on any outing.  I always forget something...Today, one of the worst showings in reaching that goal.  We were going to church, A already put up a fight to get dressed for some unexplained reason.  We finally got out the door and head to church.  I get halfway there and realize I forgot the ENTIRE diaper bag.  We turn around.  Head back to church, we forgot to let the dog back in.  We turn around.  Head back to church, Baby Bella's pants fall off.  I promise to put them back on when we get inside.  Enter church, we forgot Baby Bella's pants in the car.  Head back to the car to retrieve said pants.  Finally, in the pew with 4 minutes to spare.  Whew.  K sleeps through the first part of church, A is well behaved.  A and I go up to children's time while K. stays with my friend, E and baby SL.  Pastor Rebecca asks the group of kids, "what is one way to treat others as friends?"  A says, "my daddy plays with me downstairs."  OK... I take A down to the nursery and K is still with E and baby SL.  I come back up and baby SL was crying so E is in the narthex and some random nice lady is sitting with K.  I guess being in church makes this somewhat acceptable.  People should be trustworthy at church, right?  Anyway, I listen to the lay leader speak then the joys and concerns while K eats.  Finally time for the sermon and K poops.  Not just any poop, out of the side of the diaper onto my dress poop.  Fantastic... I join E in the narthex.  I tell her what happened but forgetting where I am say, I'm covered in shit."  Great, curse in church... I start to change K but realize that I left his clothes in the pew.  I give up.  We wait out the rest of the service not as a "together mom" but as a shit covered, cursing mom with a baby in only his diaper.  I guess God loves me anyway.